I Hate Everything

Some people are into bathrooms. Some want a nice kitchen. I’ve always wanted a well-lit, well-organized and charming walk-in closet. I dreamed of all of my beautiful things organized and in their places for me to see each morning.

Instead, up until yesterday, I had the Closet of Nightmares – so little that my clothes had been unceremoniously stuffed into various drawers, dressers, and closets throughout the house. It all felt so wrong – pieces that I had, in some cases, spent hundreds of dollars on lay sadly on forgotten dark floors, never to be seen again.

Being that there was no new closet in sight (oh and I also moved six times last year and twice this year) I had been getting rid of an alarming amount of stuff – they were shipped to foreign sellers via eBay, hung on dirty consignment shop racks, lay on the bottom of my lucky friends’ closets, or sat in collection boxes in parking lots. God knows how much money was now wasted. Even still, with the items I was lukewarm about now finally gone, nothing still fit in my closet.

That is, until a miracle happen and I got a closet. I think my mom got fed up with my dramatics and finally convinced her ex-boyfriend (because who do you have if you don’t have an ex-boyfriend to do your handiwork for you) to install two rods in the Closet of Nightmares, giving me what could be considered two closets (which is literally two more than I had before).

closet

This is not mine.

All of a sudden, I had all this space! All these hangers and lights! It was like a dream. I skipped about our house and collected my belongings from the terrible corners they had been subjected to for the past few months and brought them back heroically to my room. I organized them by color (obviously), set them up neatly and prepared for the euphoria which I was sure would ensue once I realized what an astounding collections of beautiful belongings I had.

It didn’t come.

Instead, I squinted my eyes and wondered, What happened to all my stuff? How was it that this new double-closet fit for a queen was seemingly… empty?

Using my investigative gifts, I delved into my Facebook photos and scrolled through all 2000 of them. I came to a frightening conclusion – I had sold or given away literally every item I had bought before the end of last summer. Nothing in my closet had survived more than a few short months. I was a binge buyer… and cleaner.

Why was this? Was it because I’m cheap and I get off on buying crappy items before getting sick of them and chucking them out the door? Was I too easily swayed at the mall? And on top of that, why didn’t I really like the stuff I still did have either?

I explained my dilemma to my mother, who clearly did not understand me at all. She told me I was “just hating everything today” and that I shouldn’t be so quick to buy things… or to throw them away. (Mind you half of those things I had “given away” had been to her).

So it seems that I am now in need of a rather thorough shopping spree since I can count the outfits I can put together on two hands. It’s probably for the best that I live at home now.

Do you go on closet clean-out binges? Do you ever regret what you bid goodbye? How much do you have to like something to keep it?

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4 comments

  1. This is very relatable! I always go all out during sales and end up getting things I don’t actually like very much. I usually keep everything I get though, because you never know when you can incorporate it into a spontaneous outfit idea 🙂

    1. True true! I hate when I buy something, get rid of it, and then end up thinking of an outfit with an item I don’t have anymore 😦 Good call to keep things!

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